Kellie Watters

Trigger warning: mention of suicidal ideation

 

Meet Store Manager Kellie, who’s been at Tesco for 29 years. Here, she talks about her experience of surgical menopause and the importance of awareness and support for women’s health issues in the workplace.

 

“After suffering extremely painful periods since age 11, and being diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis at 34, I was relieved – excited, even – to be getting a hysterectomy. I was only 37, but I thought this procedure would help me live a normal life. Instead, I woke up in full-blown menopause.

The possibility of surgical menopause hadn’t really been explained to me, and I wasn’t prepared. I waited six weeks for cancer screening results before being put on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), medication often prescribed to those experiencing menopause. But unfortunately, it didn’t fix things. I had a longer, more complicated journey to manage my symptoms.

It started with hot flushes and the sweats. My alopecia (which I’d had long before my surgery) got worse. I put on a lot of weight. I struggled to sleep, and struggled to get up. The fatigue was overwhelming – it would take me hours to get out of bed. I also found out I had a thyroid disorder which is common if you’re menopausal, and especially after a hysterectomy.

The impact on my mental health was even worse. I was anxious about everything. Not only did I start obsessively double, and triple, checking everything I did, I had sleepless nights wondering if I’d made a mistake at work. And then there was the depression. The despair I felt made me question and doubt everything about myself.

For two years I completely shut myself away and didn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling. And the worst part was questioning my ability to be a good mum. I began to believe my husband and son would be better off without me. For a long time, I didn’t tell my husband what I was going through. He’d sensed something wasn’t right, but didn’t have any idea how debilitating the symptoms of menopause could be. He was devastated when I eventually told him.

I was initially signed off work for three months after my hysterectomy, but I went back on a phased return after five weeks. I knew mentally I couldn’t stay at home any longer, and thankfully for me, going back to work meant I didn’t sink any lower into depression. In fact, work became a haven. I felt safe. The colleagues in my store had my back, and I’ll be forever grateful to them.

Since sharing my experience at work, the support I’ve received has been incredible. Brain fog is something I struggle with; I forget things and have to make notes on my phone a lot. So when my manager comes to do a walk-through of my store, he’ll make us a tea first, which helps calm my nerves. He’s been very understanding when I’ve had to ask for adjustments to my shifts if I’m having a particularly bad day.

What’s great is that we now have loads of ways to support colleagues going through menopause. Tesco have amended the sickness policy to support menopause-related absence. Adjustments can be made to help with colleagues’ symptoms, such as flexibility in working hours and duties, and providing portable fans. Plus, there’s the Virtual GP and Employee Assistance Programme.

It's now a priority at Tesco to increase awareness of menopause and its impact. We have women within Tesco Bank who run the Menopause Café, hosting talks and events. And I’m also working with the Wellness team to raise awareness about menopause, alopecia, endometriosis and adenomyosis. Sharing my story means others feel less alone – and it helps me too. It’s had a really positive effect on my mental health.

I’m on HRT and medication for my thyroid, which has helped, but it’s a balancing act. You might need to try different types of HRT, so you’ll need to be patient. And it’s important to advocate for yourself and go back to your GP if you feel something isn’t working for you. I’d also encourage you to join a support group – at work, in your local area, or on social media. Also, take up a hobby (or pick one back up) that makes you feel good.

I’ve also made big changes to my diet, and while it’s not easy, it can make a huge difference to so many of your symptoms. It’s about looking after your physical and mental wellbeing. A few years ago, I never thought I’d have just taken part in an open-water swim event and be training for a triathlon. So remember, menopause doesn’t mean the end of your life. It’s just a different chapter.”